BPW Foundation's Women Misbehavin' Blog

Well behaved women never make history

Surviving Divorce by Becoming Your Own Best Friend

Posted by sherrysaunders on July 22, 2010

Our guest blogger today is BPW Foundation Trustee Venita Garvin Valdez, executive director of Monroe County, FL Domestic Abuse Shelter and president of The Garvin Valdez Group.  She contributed a chapter to the new book Becoming Your Own Best Friend.

Wow, I am a statistic – that statistic that roughly fifty percent of all marriages will end in divorce.

Venita Gavin Valdez

At the time of my marriage, I never imagined that I too would become a member of what has been called at times, the failed marriage society. The dissolution of one’s marriage or long term committed relationship can potentially leave you with feelings of self-doubt about yourself and wondering if you are capable of ever experiencing that  “until death due you part ”feeling.  Another divorce statistic that I really don’t like is that typically when divorcing, the soon to be ex husband’s lifestyle is monetarily enhanced by 53 percent, while the soon to be wife’s finances are decreased by 72 percent. These statistics tend to really hold up if there are children involved since the mom typically keeps the children, so the financial support experienced with both parents in the household is no longer available at the same level. Therefore, the soon-to be divorced wife and mother is will most likely experience some negative adjustment in her lifestyle due to financial loss.

I must admit in going through my divorce, although I did not have children, this statistic of a decreased financial base gave me the energy to ensure that I was going to be OK at the end of my divorce journey.  How dare my lifestyle have to change simply because I was getting a divorce!  Read about my journey of divorce in the recently released book, Becoming Your Own Best Friend.  If you are faced with divorce, I hope that you can learn from my experience and come out at the end a better person.  Not only do I believe it is critical that you take steps to assure you remain whole at the end of the divorce journey but you also must to be gentle with yourself and become your own best friend even when faced with such a life altering change. Remember if you are you own best friend, you will always have a friend. 

I like to think I also represent another statistic that does not receive as much attention as the statistic of divorce. I am a successful woman not defined by what might have been deemed a failed marriage.  

                       Are you also a successful woman not defined by the
dissolution of a marriage?
Let me know. Leave a comment here.

Venita's book

To order the book, Becoming Your Own Best Friend, please send a check in the amount of $24.95 (includes shipping and handling) made out to: The Garvin Valdez Group, LLC.  When ordering this way, $3.00 of the purchase price for each book will be donated to the Domestic Abuse Shelter, Inc, serving victims of domestic violence and sexual assault and their children in Monroe County, Florida.

3 Responses to “Surviving Divorce by Becoming Your Own Best Friend”

  1. Child of the Universe…

    I found your entry interesting thus I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog :)…

  2. Nisha Parker said

    Awesome article…

  3. sağlık said

    thanx admin

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